Gear up for Success!

Volume 2 - Issue #9, August, 2003
Dealing with Transition


GEAR UP FOR SUCCESS! "Tips, Techniques...and Tasks"
a weekly newsletter designed to support you in getting IN GEAR to create the life you want today.

Brought to you by Laurie Riddell Geary, M.Ed., PCC. Coaching you to get your life IN GEAR by making shifts, getting unstuck, finding balance, accelerating your growth, and mapping the best route to your chosen destination: a life filled with passion and purpose.

In this issue:
1. Welcome!
2. QUOTES on Transition
3. Weekly ARTICLE: DEALING with TRANSITION
and TOP TEN TIPS to move quickly through TRANSITION
4. Recommended TASKS
5. Recommended BOOKS
6. Career Transition COACHING
7. Subscription information

1. WELCOME!

Welcome to GEAR UP FOR SUCCESS! and a warm welcome to all my new subscribers! I really appreciate your forwarding my newsletter to all your friends and colleagues. Your recommendations help me grow and develop as a coach. Anyone can subscribe by going to my website @ www.ingearcoaching.com.
Thank you so much for your support!


2. QUOTES on TRANSITION

"It isn't the changes that do you in, it's the transitions. Change is not the same as transition. Change is situational: the new site, the new boss, the new team roles, the new policy. Transition is the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation. Change is external, transition is internal" William Bridges from Managing Transitions

"Transition is the natural process of disorientation and reorientation that marks the turning points in the path of growth...transitions are key times in the natural process of self-renewal" Bridges

"Not in his goals but in his transitions man is great" Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself" Henri Bergson, French philosopher


3. Weekly ARTICLE*: DEALING with TRANSITION

Are you in transition? ...changing careers? recently promoted...or fired? getting ready to retire? recently divorced or widowed? in a new relationship? dealing with a serious illness? moving to a new location? or ???

Many people are unprepared for all the changes and adjustments that must be made when they go through a transition....but they have no choice: transitions are a part of life! Life transitions are inevitable....graduations, marriage, parenthood, new jobs... However, the more you can understand the transition process and know how to prepare for it, the better able you will be to manage the change that will occur and the happier you will be for having gone through that transition.

According to William Bridges, author of numerous books on Transition* whatever type of transition you are going through, there is a similar process. He identified three stages: 1) the ENDING - 2) the NEUTRAL ZONE - 3) the NEW BEGINNING. Understanding these stages can help you better adjust to all the changes you will have to deal with.

PHASE ONE: ENDING

With any transition you must let go of the old...endings must be dealt with if you are to move on. Judith Viorst* called these endings necessary losses . Most of us deal with endings badly - we try to avoid them or resist them; we become angry or anxious or depressed. We need to realize that endings are positive - like a lobster casting off its old shell for new growth, or a snake losing its skin for new skin, or the chambered nautilus leaving its old chamber for the new one - endings help us let go of the old to make space for the new.

"Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending" Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

In order to End effectively or resolutely, we need to deal with the 4 D's = Disengagement, Dis-identification, Disenchantment, and Disorientation.
1. Dis-engagement: We need to let go of our attachment to the old job, relationship, location.....and move on to the new

2. Dis-identification: We need to let go of our old identity (as Mr/Ms. ? or Job Title? or Neighbor? or Member of ?...)

3. Dis-enchantment: We have to let go of our love and appreciation and valuing of the old....?

4. Dis-orientation: We need to accept that feeling confused and disoriented is part of Ending and dealing with the other D's...

Endings are difficult - we must let go of the familiar...leave behind things/people that we care about. In order to let go, we must grieve our Endings and allow the emotions created by loss: anger, anxiety, sadness, and/or depression. Someone once said: "you have to close one door to enter another, but it can be hell in the hallway!"

Finding someone who will help you grieve - a friend, a therapist, a coach, a support group - can be very helpful. Who will help you grieve the losses of your Ending?

PHASE TWO: NEUTRAL ZONE

Once you have given up the old (..whatever ?) - and Ended - you move into a neutral zone. It is in this zone where we find ourselves between the old and the new; it is a time when habits are no longer adaptive and new habits are beginning to take shape. The neutral zone is a learning zone - a place for creativity, personal growth, insight, renewal; it is a place that can provide new perspectives, shifts in thinking, even transformation.

"When I am .....entirely alone..or during the night when I cannot sleep, it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best and most abundantly. Whence and how these come I know not nor can I force them." Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

The Neutral Zone is an opportune place, but it can also be a dangerous place if we don't take advantage of all the possibilities for learning. For this reason the neutral zone has been called the core of the transition process. The neutral zone can be a lonely time where you can feel bored and frustrated and empty, but knowing its purpose and that it is only a temporary state, can help you accept it and benefit from it. It can be very valuable to find someone who will help you take advantage of all there is to learn in the neutral zone.

The Neutral Zone is also a scary place; it can feel like being between trapezes: you must let go of one trapeze in order to reach the other, but there is always that moment between when you are free falling!

There are actions you can take to help you get through the neutral zone more quickly:

TOP TEN TIPS to move more quickly through the NEUTRAL ZONE of TRANSITION

1. Find a regular time and place to be alone : take a time-out, meditate, go for a walk/jog/swim, relax and contemplate...

2. Keep a log/journal of all your thoughts/experiences.

3. Write your autobiography - identify other transitions you have been through and what you have learned from these experiences.

4. Keep an "I want...." list. Brainstorm...be open and receptive, be creative, be outrageous with your list.

5. Ask yourself: "if my life ended today, what would I regret not having done?" Make a plan to do it!

6. Go on a retreat - a vacation - a "passage journey" - a "walkabout." Go to a place where you cultivate receptivity within yourself in order to hear what it is you really want and need.

7. Work with a life COACH..or a therapist...or a career counselor...or a good buddy/friend/colleague..

8. Read more about Risk-Taking and Change (see www.ingearcoaching.com, see books listed below, or read past issues of my newsletters)

9. Take Workshops or Teleclasses (What's a Teleclass? see newsletter #14 at www.ingearcoaching.com/newsletters.htm) to learn more about Transitions.

10. Take care of yourself. Be healthy: eat well, exercise aerobically, get plenty of sleep and rest.

It is in the neutral zone where you want to take the time to listen to your inner voices in order to know how to create your new beginning.PHASE THREE: NEW BEGINNING

The final phase of the transition process is a new beginning: a new job, a new relationship, a new location... New beginnings elicit feelings of excitement and passion but they can also stir up feelings of anxiety and disappointment. New beginnings are not always what we wanted or expected, but we need to accept what we have begun and make it work.

"Beginnings are always messy." John Galsworthy

"The world fears a new experience more than it fears anything. Because a new experience displaces so many old experiences.." D.H. Lawrence

"The only joy in the world is to begin." Cesare Pavese

"One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea." Walter Bagehot

Moving from the Neutral Zone to New Beginnings can be difficult; we often feel ambivalent and uncertain that we want something new. New Beginnings can trigger old anxieties and negative experiences. However, once we have determined we have spent enough time in the neutral zone, we need to just Take Action! Go for It! Just Do It! "It doesn't work to leap a 20' chasm in two 10' jumps."

New beginnings really are the spice of life. New beginnings give us our chance to reach our potential, achieve fulfillment, and to have peak experiences. Understanding this possibility can motivate us to go through the transition process over and over again and to continue to grow and change.

Note: The Three Phases of Transition: Ending, Neutral Zone, New Beginning are very similar to the Risk-Taking Process (Comfort Zone - Learning Zone - Panic Zone) that I have written about extensively. To read more about this, see my Books (below) or past issues of my newsletter at my website.

RESISTANCE to TRANSITION:

What happens if we resist transition and change? We can remain stuck in any one phase without moving on to new growth. When we don't move through the phases of transition, we must pay a price....

The 5 Costs of not Managing Transition Effectively=GRASS*

G - Guilt
R = Resentment
A = Anxiety
S = Self -Absorption
S = Stress

GRASS can contribute to a multitude of problems in the transition process.

Sociologists, Holmes and Rahe, found that the greater the stress, the greater the chance for developing an illness. They created the Holmes/Rahe Life/Change Scale* which assigns points to typical life stressors (i.e. transitions such as death, divorce, marriage, graduations, etc) . They found that the more points one has, the greater the possibility to become ill. These findings were actually not new: "Illness strikes men when they are exposed to change." Herodotus. Therefore, whenever we are in transition, we must be careful not to add more changes than we can handle.

(*contact me for your copy of this Scale)

But can we resist Transition and Change? No...it is a part of life, so we might as well embrace it...learn from it...and grow from it!

GO FOR IT!

"Even if change ceased today, people would have difficulty because the lack of change would itself be a change." Bridges

©Copyright: all rights reserved: Laurie Geary, August, 2003

*(Note: most of the information in this article comes from William Bridges' work)

Next article: JOB TRANSITION


4. Recommended TASKS:

1. In TRANSITION....?

*Purchase my workbook: RISK TO GROW! or my Book: A GUIDE TO GETTING IT: SELF ESTEEM, with my chapter on RISK-TAKING and SELF ESTEEM (see below).

*Contact me to take the HOLMES/RAHE LIFE CHANGE SCALE to determine your illness risk factor related to your current life changes.

2. Call or email me for a complimentary half-hour COACHING session to help you in managing your transition.Voice:617-494-1422; email: laurie@ingearcoaching.com.

3. In Retirement Transition? contact me to take your RSP (Retirement Success Profile) ASSESSMENT - to determine your ability to deal with the changes and transition of retirement life. email: laurie@ingearcoaching.com.

For more information on Retirement issues, see newsletter issue #7, Volume II at www.ingearcoaching.com/newsletters.htm.

4. In Career Transition? Contact me to help you develop your personal marketing plan, update your resume, create a professional introductory statement, and identify effective job search strategies. email: laurie@ingearcoaching.com.

(and look for next week's newsletter)

5. In Relationship Transition? contact me to redesign your new life and to find a new Mr/Ms. Right. email: laurie@ingearcoaching.com.

6. Read back issues of my newsletter to read more articles on taking risks, dealing with change, building self esteem, finding your passion, resolving conflict, coaching...and much more

7. Read one of the books recommended below related to being in transition and change.


5. Recommended BOOKS:

TRANSITIONS: Strategies for Coping with the Difficult, Painful, and Confusing Times in Your Life by William Bridges

MANAGING TRANSITIONS: Making the Most of Change by William Bridges

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE? An A-Mazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life by Spencer Johnson

CHANGING FOR GOOD: A REVOLUTIONARY SIX-STAGE PROGRAM for OVERCOMING BAD HABITS and MOVING YOUR LIFE POSITIVELY FORWARD by Prochaska, Norcross, DiClemente

PASSAGES: The Predictable Crises of Adult Life by Gail Sheehy

THE SEASONS of a MAN'S LIFE by Daniel Levinson

TRANSFORMATIONS: GROWTH and CHANGE in the ADULT YEARS by Roger Gould

NECESSARY LOSSES by Judith Viorst

Or...Order my workbook:

RISK TO GROW! CREATE the LIFE YOU WANT through RESPONSIBLE RISK-TAKING a collection of articles, top tens, models, poems & quotes, and exercises on Risk-Taking....

or

My chapter: RISK-TAKING and BUILDING SELF ESTEEM in the book A GUIDE TO GETTING IT: SELF ESTEEM. Ideas and Tools from 12 Life and Business Coaches to Help You Live Your Life's Dreams, edited by Marilyn Schwader

or

Order my other booklet on experiential activities for trainers: 75 of my favorite activities learned from years of working as an instructor for Outward Bound Professional Development Programs GAMES & INITIATIVES for NETWORKING, ENERGIZING, & TEAM-BUILDING...and just plain FUN! .

All booklets now available...hard copy ($20) or pdf. file ($15)

Send check to Laurie Geary, 4 Canal Park, PH9, Cambridge, MA 02141;
email request to: laurie@ingearcoaching.com or
order online.


6. CAREER TRANSITION Coaching

I am a consultant for the well-known outplacement agency: Lee Hecht Harrison. As a consultant/trainer, I lead two-day seminars on Career Transition Search (CTS) which includes self assessments, setting a professional objective, creating a personal marketing plan, developing a resume, networking and other job search methods, interviewing and negotiating skills, and much, much more. I have become an experienced, knowledgeable career coach! Anyone who finds themself needing to transition into a new job or who wants to build a new business should contact me for a complimentary career assessment coaching session!


7. SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION

Please forward your copy of this newsletter to anyone you think might enjoy reading it. I appreciate your support. I just request that you keep the broadcast intact... nothing changed, added or deleted,including subscription information and my contact and copyright information. Thank you.