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Issue #22 - March 3, 2000
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Brought to you by Laurie Riddell Geary, M.Ed., Coaching you to get your life
IN GEAR by making shifts, getting unstuck, finding balance, accelerating
your growth, and mapping the best route to your chosen destination: a perfect life.
 

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What is self esteem? The official definition of the California Task Force
to Promote Self Esteem and Personal & Social Responsibility defines it as
"Appreciating my own worth and importance and having the character to be
accountable for myself and to act responsibly toward others"

Can we continue to build our self esteem as we grow older? Is our self
esteem ever finally settled?

Dorothy Briggs, author of numerous books on self esteem, says: "The process
of building self esteem goes this way: a new reflection, a new experience... leads to a new success or failure which, in turn, leads to a new or revised statement/image of the self.  In this fashion each person's self concept usually evolves throughout his/her lifetime."

Nathaniel Branden, author of "The Six Pillars of Self Esteem", states that
"A commitment to awareness - the will to understand - is the central pillar
of positive self esteem..it entails the behavior of seeking to integrate,
to the best of our knowledge and abiltity, that which enters our mental
field, as well as the effort to keep expanding that field."

With these comments in mind, I have developed a system for us to continue
to build our positive self esteem now and for the rest of our lifetime.
Here is an overview of the 8 A's of Building Self Esteem; subsequent issues
of GEAR UP FOR SUCCESS will focus more in depth on each A+ Action.
 

8 A+ ACTIONS for BUILDING SELF ESTEEM
Copyright - all rights reserved - Laurie R. Geary, 2000
 

1. ACCEPTANCE
Accepting who we are...our strengths as well as our weaknesses...is an
important aspect of building our positive self esteem.  Accepting that "I'm
O.K" just as I am; knowing IALAC: " I am lovable and capable" and that I
don't need to DO anything to be worthwhile.  I can just BE. Accepting that
we are all born with "one unit of worth" which never changes... thus we are
all equal. At the same time we need to accept that we are also totally
unique from anyone else in the universe.

*Action Step: Reflect on/Meditate on the specialness of YOU...Find times to
just BE... Accept yourself for whom you are.
 

2. ACKNOWLEDGMENT
We need to acknowledgment ourselves in order to build our self esteem:
acknowledge our actions...our positive behaviors. Do you acknowledge your
"wins"?  How often do you take a moment to pat yourself on the back for a
job well done? A kind action? An act of kindness?

*Action Steps: Keep a daily list of actions that build your self esteem and
acknowledge yourself for taking those actions.

Next step: tell others about your positive actions - Brag a little!

Also..Ask for acknowledgment - tell others how you like to be acknowledged;
and, when you are acknowledged, listen/take it in...and simply say "thank you!"

And remember to acknowledge others.  We do this by giving compliments... positive feedback..pats on the back...hugs... How often do you acknowledge others?  My clients often report that being acknowledged by me for their actions is the only time they get acknowledged during the week! The basic premise, and magic technique,  from the "The One Minute Manager" books by Ken Blanchard is "Catch someone being good... and tell them!" According to him, the ratio of compliments to criticisms in life should be 4:1; yet for most of us this ratio is the reverse: 4 criticisms for every 1 compliment!  and we've even learned to accept that!  Accept it no longer! 

*Action Step: Make the intention to change the ratio: this week give 4
compliments each day to someone you love or care about.
 

3. ACHIEVEMENTS
The more we set goals and achieve them, the better we feel about ourselves
Self esteem is built over the years by our continued accomplishments: this is the DOING. 

*Action Step: List 100 Accomplishments  - and continue to add to this list.
 

4. AFFILIATIONS 
Affiliations are our connections/relationships with others.  Connections
bring us happiness and health and high self esteem.  Numerous studies prove
that having friends reduces the risk of death as well as increases health!
We survive and thrive with our affiliations, so we need to nurture our
relationships and continually build new ones.

*Action Step: Make a date with a friend today and make a new friend... increase your affiliation bank.
 

5. ATTRACTION
Attraction is a way of life...a modus operandi..it is a way of  being whole
and present so that you effortlessly draw into your life what you want. 
According to Thomas Leonard, author of  "The Portable Coach", there are 28
Principles of Attraction which, if followed, will help you develop these qualities of
attraction within yourself.

*Action Steps: Practice Principle #1: Become Selfish...read more about this
principle in "The Portable Coach" or take a teleclass"http://www.teleclass.com" to
learn the Attraction Principles.
 

6. ATTITUDE
Attitude is everything, they say; we are in charge of our attitudes.  Our
attitude about ourself is the cornerstone of our self esteem.  We need to
be aware of our attitude..is it positive or negative?  How strong is our
inner critic?  We need to learn ways to argue with our inner  negative
self-talk..our  vulture or gremlin..and find ways to reduce or eliminate it.
Most of us need an attitude readjustment in order to build our self esteem!

Remember, "No one can make you inferior without your consent."
---Eleanor Roosevelt

*Action Step: Keep track of all your negative self talk during the
day...become more aware..and ARGUE with these negative statements!  Replace them with positive statements such as Affirmations.
 

7. AFFIRMATIONS
Affirmations are strong, positive statements that are said as if they are
already true about you.
 The theory is that by stating these affirmations, eg. I am a dynamic and
interesting speaker, we see ourselves AS IF and create a gap that we are naturally drawn to close.
 There are specific guidelines on how to write, verbalize, and integrate
affirmations into our lives; it is a technique that can be learned. Using
visualizations along with Affirmations can add even more power to the
statements.

*Action Step: Write three affirmations and repeat them 20 times each per
day; read Shakti Gawain's book, "CREATIVE VISUALIZATION", to learn how to integrate affirmations and visualizations into your life.
 

8. ASSERTIVENESS
Assertiveness is a way of getting your needs met while respecting the
rights of others.  Assertiveness is first an attitude based upon your
belief that you have the right to get your needs met. Then there are
specifice techniques/skills that can be learned to help you set boundaries
and standards to be assertive.

*Action Step: Take an Assertiveness Training Seminar at a local community
college or read BE YOUR BEST, by Linda Adams.
 

Additional A's:
*BE ACCOUNTABLE - ACCELERATE your growth in building your self esteem. Take these ACTION steps this week; HIRE A COACH to support you!
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TAREA:

1. Call me for a complimentary half-hour coaching session to support you in
taking any one of the 
8-A actions to build your self esteem.
Call me at 617-494-1422 or email laurie@ingearcoaching.com

2.  Register for my upcoming teleclass on the
"8-A SYSTEM for BUILDING YOUR SELF ESTEEM" in order to focus more in depth on each one of the A's in order to build Your Self Esteem.

3. Read one or more of my favorite books on Self Esteem
 

SELF ESTEEM: A PROVEN PROGRAM of COGNITIVE TECHNIQUES for ASSESSION, IMPROVING and MAINTAINING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM,
by Matthew McKay & Patrick Fanning

WOMEN & SELF ESTEEM: UNDERSTANDING & IMPROVING the WAY WE THING and FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES,
by Linda Sanford and Mary Ellen Donovan.

The SIX PILLARS of SELF ESTEEM, by Nathaniel Branden

EMPOWERMENT TAKES MORE THAN A MINUTE, by Ken Blanchard

TAMING YOUR GREMLIN, by Richard Carson

SELF ESTEEM and PEAK PERFORMANCE,
by Jack Canfield (audiocassette)

HEART AT WORK: STORIES and STRATEGIES for BUILDING SELF ESTEEM, by Jack Canfield and Jacqueline Miller

BE YOUR BEST, by Linda Adams

CREATIVE VISUALIZATION, by Shakti Gawain
 

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Upcoming TELECLASSES:
 

"LEARN the 8 A'S - A SYSTEM for BUILDING YOUR SELF ESTEEM"
Boston Center for Adult Education
4 Tuesdays, April 11, 18, 25, May 2 @ 9 pm EST - Fee: $99
 

"LEARN the 3-STEP MODEL for TAKING RESPONSIBLE RISKS in order to GET UNSTUCK/MAKE BREAKTHROUGHS  to CREATE the LIFE YOU WANT"
4 Mondays, May 1, 8, 15, 22 @ 2pm EST  - Fee: $99
 

For a more detailed description of each teleclass or to register, go to
http://www.teleclasscanada.com 
You may also find these teleclasses listed at: "http://www.teleclass.com" or,
"http://www.teleclass4U.com"
 

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UPCOMING LOCAL WORKSHOPS:
 

BECOMING A PERSONAL/PROFESSIONAL COACH
 April 24 & May 1,  also Monday, June 12,  @ 6:30-9:30 p.m.

*Middlesex Community College - Saturday, March 4, 9 - 4 p.m.
                                also Saturday, April 29, 9 - 4 p.m.
 

ATTRACTING WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE
*Middlesex Community College - Wednesday, June 7th from 6:30-9:30pm 

ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING
*Patriot Trail Girl Scouts - Tuesday, March 14, 7-10 pm

TEAM-BUILDING
*Bank Boston, 100 Federal Street, Boston; Friday, March 17, 2:30-4:30 pm
CWE - Center for Women in Enterprise

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Also, please e-mail me laurie@ingearcoacing.com if you would like back-issues of my weekly broadcast or go to my website - http://www.ingearcoaching.com
 
 

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Laurie R. Geary, M.Ed.
Professional  Certified Coach

Register for my free weekly newsletter: Gear Up for Success!
or a free teleclass on Risk-Taking or Building Self Esteem.
at my website: http://www.ingearcoaching.com

Phone: (617)494-1422
Fax: (617)494-1786
Address: 4 Canal Park, PH9, Cambridge, MA 02141
Graduate: Coach University http://www.coachu.com