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Issue #16 - January 21, 2000
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Brought to you by Laurie Riddell Geary, M.Ed., Coaching you to get your life
IN GEAR by making shifts, getting unstuck, finding balance and re-alignment, accelerating your growth, and mapping the best route to your chosen destination: a perfect life.

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FEEDBACK from a READER:

"I just wanted to Thank You for still sending your e-mail broadcast. I appreciate it
and I have been forwarding it to some of my friends. Today's is my favorite one so far on RISK-TAKING. I am taking a large risk in going back to school (spending all that money) in a whole new field....in hopes to finally find something positive to work at and be with positive people and leave the negative people behind. It does a number on your health (negativity). Thank You again for all your help."
Donna Obdens

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TOP TEN FEARS of RISK-TAKING
...and how to Reduce or Eliminate them.
 

<copyright..all rights reserved..Laurie R. Geary, M.Ed., January, 2000>
 

1. FEAR of the EDGE:
     Taking risks means leaving our comfort zone and moving into our learning zone; going from the known to the unknown. It is by this risking process that we grow and continually expand our comfort zone. Whenever we risk we find ourselves at our growing EDGE. Being at the EDGE can elicit feelings of fear, anxiety, even panic; many people will turn back to their comfort zone at this point; others find the courage to breakthrough the edge and risk. How can we motivate ourselves to make that final leap...get off the fence...make that dive into new territory? FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY! says Susan Jeffers, in her book by that title. In my recent teleclass, participants said we should FEEL THE FEAR AND EMBRACE IT! because fear is a signal that we are risking and thus growing. Our support systems...friends and family..professional colleagues or personal coach.. can gently push us over the EDGE...and support us in the process. A well known poem by Goethe states: <the moment one definitely commits oneself...all sorts of things occur to help one, that would not otherwise have occurred> We need to trust. and just GO FOR IT!

2. FEAR of FAILURE:
     We need to redefine our view of failure as a normal part of the risking process. Failure simply tells us to try a different approach...take a different step...talk to someone else...get information elsewhere. Failure is a natural part of the learning process.

3. FEAR of SUCCESS:
     Success often means we must make great changes in our life...and this can block us from accepting success. In a well-know study, sociologist Matina Horner found that women fear success because it often meant a loss of their significant relationships. Developing a strong sense of self will help us be flexible and open to change - especially in our relationships. We can then open up our selves to different relationships and whatever else success may bring into our lives.

4. FEAR of LOSS:
     Risking often means letting go of, and thus losing,. significant relationships, material things, employment situations, important locations...the known. Trusting that the space created because of this loss will attract newer, better things into one's life can mitigate this fear.

5. FEAR of LOSS of SELF:
     Risking can change our self identify..this can be frightening and disorienting. Low self esteem can keep us clinging to an out-moded sense of self.  We need to find ways to continually build our self-esteem through our lifetime...so that we can have the courage to risk. For ways to build your self esteem, learn my 8 A-System for Building Self Esteem (a teleclass and book-in-progress), or take Coach University's Personal Foundation Teleclass, or hire a coach to support you in your growth process.

6. FEAR of the UNKNOWN:
     We are creatures of habit; we feel comfortable with the familiar, the known. Yet, at the same time, we get excited by change and possibility. We need to remember the thrill of adventure and know that each time we risk we are developing our risk muscle. We need to trust that through risking we grow, change, evolve, and possibly transform ourselves to someone much greater.
 

7. FEAR of ADVERSITY:
     Risking often involves taking steps that are unpopular, which can create adversarial conditions with certain people and in certain situations. Many of us do not wish to <rock the boat>; we avoid conflict at all costs. Whenever we risk we face many obstacles. Paul Stoltz, in his book ADVERSITY QUOTIENT, says we must see these obstacles as opportunities rather than roadblocks. He identifies three types of people: quitters, campers, and climbers. Quitters stop risking as soon as they hit any adversity; campers will risk a little longer but eventually decide to camp out and remain in their comfort zone; climbers are people who continue to risk and to grow throughout their life time. Which type are you?
Negative outcomes from past risking experiences can keep us stuck and afraid to risk again also. Yet if we can see these past obstacles as opportunities for us to learn ...as building blocks of our risk muscle development..that attitude will help us now in our current risking process.

8. FEAR of CHANGE:
     Change is difficult; it takes lots of effort to change habitual behaviors and reactions. We have learned that psychoneuromotor pathways..like large grooves/ruts in the brain..are created throughout our lifetime based on our routine behaviors. These grooves simplify our life; they are comfortable and familiar. Change means getting out of the groove...which is not easy. It takes patience and persistence..and the courage to face the fear of change.

9. FEAR of REJECTION:
     No one likes to be disliked..to be criticized..to feel disapproval from others. Often when we risk we face rejection from others because our risking impacts on their lives and may create unwelcome changes. Yet we need to BE SELFISH <Principle #1 of Attraction from THE PORTABLE COACH*> We need to accept that we must take care of ourselves first and not avoid actions that are necessary for us to grow and change just because someone else is rejecting us or might reject us.

10. FEAR of the INNER CRITIC:
     Sometimes called the Gremlin...or the Vulture.. the inner critic verbalizes negative self talk which can effectively block us from taking risks. Effective means for silencing this critic is to counteract with positive self talk, use affirmations, reframe one's perceptions, learn cognitive restructuring techniques.
 

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TAREA:
1. Identify your Fears of Risking and try any of the above methods
to reduce or eliminate them <and let me know what happens>

2. Register for my free TELECLASS: GET UNSTUCK..MAKE BREAKTHROUGHS..LEARN THE 3-STEP RISK-TAKING PROCESS
Thursday, February 3rd @ 9pm EST. Register at my website = www.ingearcoaching.com or at www.teleclass.com or www.teleclass4U.com

3. COMPLIMENTARY COACHING: Call or email me if you are interested in receiving a half hour coaching session related to reducing your fears of risking. As a personal and professional coach I draw upon my years of experience as an Outward Bound instructor to encourage and support people to take risks for positive change.

4. Read any of the following books related to Risking and Change:

*FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY, by Susan Jeffers.
 

*ADVERSITY QUOTIENT: TURNING OBSTACLES INTO OPPORTUNITIES, by Paul Stoltz
 

*THE PORTABLE COACH, The 28 Principles of Attraction, by Thomas Leonard.

*CHANGING for GOOD - A REVOLUTIONARY SIX-STAGE PROGRAM FOR OVERCOMING BAD HABITS AND MOVING YOUR LIFE POSITIVELY FORWARD, by Prochaska,Norcross, DiClemente
 

*SELF ESTEEM: A PROVEN PROGRAM OF COGNITIVE TECHNIQUES FOR ASSESSING, IMPROVING AND MAINTAINING YOUR SELF ESTEEM, by McKay and Fanning.
 

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If you are interested in receiving back issues, please email me or go to my website: http://www.ingearcoaching.com
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I hope you enjoyed this issue; I would love to hear your feedback on this and subsequent issues.

Please feel free to forward your copy of this email to anyone you think might enjoy reading it. I am trying to build my subscriber list to 500 by the year 2000! I just request that you keep the broadcast intact...nothing changed, added or deleted, including subscription information and my contact and copyright information. Thank you
 
 

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or visit my website at http://www.ingearcoaching.com

Laurie R. Geary, M.Ed.
Professional  Certified Coach

Register for my free weekly newsletter: Gear Up for Success!
or a free teleclass on Risk-Taking or Building Self Esteem.
at my website: http://www.ingearcoaching.com

Phone: (617)494-1422
Fax: (617)494-1786
Address: 4 Canal Park, PH9, Cambridge, MA 02141
Graduate: Coach University http://www.coachu.com