GEAR UP FOR SUCCESS! "Tips, Techniques, and Tasks" - a weekly newsletter designed to support you in getting IN GEAR to create the life you want today.
 

Issue #34 - May 26, 2000  <<ACHIEVEMENTS - A #3 for BUILDING YOUR SELF ESTEEM>>

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brought to you by Laurie Riddell Geary, M.Ed. PCC. Coaching you to get your life IN GEAR by making shifts, getting unstuck, finding balance, accelerating your growth, and mapping the best route to your chosen destination: a life filled with passion and purpose.
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Each week I have been elaborating on my 8-A System for building your self esteem. <For issue #22 describing the whole A-system, as well as back issues describing each <A>, go to my website @  www.ingearcoaching.com>

This week's newsletter deals with ACHIEVEMENTS:  A#3  for Building Your Self Esteem.

Table of Contents:
        1. Reader Feedback
        2. Topic: ACHIEVEMENTS: A #3 for Building your Self Esteem
        3. Some inspiring QUOTES
        4. A POEM: IT COULDN'T BE DONE
        5. Recommended BOOKS
        6. Recommended TASKS
        7.TELECLASSES and Local WORKSHOPS
        8. SUBSCRIPTION information

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READER FEEDBACK on AFFILIATIONS <Issue #33>

Hi Laurie: Good stuff! You may want to do a follow up on TOO MANY affiliations! (That's me, I'm a member and volunteer in too many organizations so select, don't settle, what is the ROI, networking opportunity, linkages to business, etc.).
Donna Coulson, Coach

Hi Donna:  I agree - affiliations can drain our self esteem as well as build our self esteem; the secret is knowing which ones to hold on to/nourish and which ones to let go of! Laurie

your newsletters are great-- so packed with
good stuff all the time! I really appreciate them!
Margie, Professional Freelance Writer

Hi, Laurie,
You're hot! The stuff you're doing is awesome!
Marilyn Edelson, PCC

A great quote, related to the value of affiliations, sent in by a reader:
<Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being.  Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light>
Albert Schweitzer

<I really appreciate Reader responses; please send in any of your comments today! Thanks>

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 Topic: ACHIEVEMENTS = A #3 for BUILDING YOUR SELF ESTEEM

        Our achievements clearly contribute toward raising our self esteem.  Like bricks, each accomplishment builds the foundation of our self esteem; brick by brick we develop and grow over our lifetime.   An excellent way to feel good about your achievements is to make a list of all your achievements so far...I challenge you to make a list of 100 accomplishments!  Feel proud of what you have done! Tell people!  Keep the list to read occasionally...to remind yourself of all you have achieved...and continue to add to your list.  Celebrate your achievements!

        Clarify the achievements you want to make NOW: going back to school?  learning to use a computer? developing a new skill? learning a new language? going on that trip you have always wanted to take? challenging yourself to do something new?  Get clear on what you want to do...then set your goals ...and begin!   One of the main reasons people hire coaches is to support them in going for those achievements they have always wanted to accomplish.

        Some studies show some interesting differences between men and women with regard to Achievements and Affiliations; men traditionally build their self esteem more with Achievements, women build their self esteem more with Affiliations.  Matina Horner, in her famous <fear of success> study, showed that women were often afraid to achieve because they feared losing their relationships.
Carol Gilligan, in her well-known book: <IN A DIFFERENT VOICE*> found that girls at the ages of twelve or thirteen stopped achieving for the same reason...fear of losing their boyfriends.  Other studies demonstrate the same phenomenon: women will put their affiliations first; women's self esteem is built upon their relationships.  For men relationships come second to their need to achieve.
However, men often find the emptiness of achievement without affiliation, and women often feel unfulfilled by not making enough achievements. Both sexes need to find a greater balance with their achievements and affiliations; they need to learn from each other.  Men with high self esteem  discover the richness of relationships and women with high self esteem discover the thrill of accomplishments!

        I find it interesting that Abraham Maslow, the psychologist who developed the Hierarchy of Needs Theory, placed Achievements as a higher need than Affiliations. According to Maslow's theory, we need to fulfill lower level needs before we can move on to the next level.  <Level I needs are physiological (food, water, health); Level II needs are psychological (safety); Level III needs are social (affiliations); Level IV needs are achievements; Level V  is Self Actualization.> I think Maslow's Hierarchy must be changed: Affiliations and Achievements should be on the same level - these two A's are equally important in building our self esteem.

        Are you in balance with your Affiliations and Achievements? What changes do you need to make?  What achievements have you been postponing?  Take time this week to become more aware of the things you want to accomplish in the next few weeks...months...the next year...the next decade!  Begin to make a plan to achieve these goals...and get started this week!
Remember: <what you can conceive and believe, you can achieve!>

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QUOTES:

<If you don't do it, you'll never know what would have happened if you had done it>

<Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go> T.S. Eliot

<Growth is a never-ending process that can be accomplished under the most adverse circumstances.  Growth can be achieved from one's attempts to Go for the Perfect Try>  from GOLD NUGGETS*

<<Hulda Crooks, a 91-year-old mountaineer from Loma Linda, California, reached the top of Mount Fuji in Japan at dawn today after a difficult three-day climb. She is the oldest woman to conquer Mount Fuji.  Crooks stepped through a special gate marking the top of the sacred 12,385 foot dormant volcano at 3:45 a.m., as a pink sun rose over the horizon and waved an American flag tied to her walking stick.  <It's wonderful>, she said, bundled in a down jacket at the summit in near freezing weather.  <You always feel good when you make a goal>> from GOLD NUGGETS*

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 A Poem: IT COULDN'T BE DONE:

<Somebody said that it couldn't be done, but she with a chuckle replied
That maybe it couldn't, but she would be one who wouldn't say so 'til she tried.
So she buckled right in with the trace of a grin on her face.  If she worried she hid it.
She started to sing as she tackled the thing that couldn't be done,
And she did it!

Somebody scoffed: Oh, you'll never do that; at least no one ever has done it;
But she took off her coat and she took off her hat, and the first thing we knew
She'd begun it.

With a lift of her chin and a bit of a grin, without any doubting or quiddit,
She started to sing as she tackled the thing that couldn't be done,
And she did it!

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done; there are thousands to prophecy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you one by one, the dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin; just take off your coat and go to it.
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing that couldn't be done,
and you'll DO IT!> author unknown

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Recommended BOOKS:

<GOLD NUGGETS*> by Jim Schoel and Mike Stratton, Project Adventure
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/0934387095/gearupforsuccela

<SUCCESS on OUR OWN TERMS:Tales of Extraordinary, Ordinary Business Women>
by Virginia O'Brien
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/0471178713/gearupforsuccela

UNLOCK YOUR POSSIBILITIES, by Rita Losee
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/1891643002/gearupforsuccela

<SUCCESS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT: Change your Choices, Change your Life> by Tommy Newberry
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/1-886669090/gearupforsuccela

<IN A DIFFERENT VOICE*> by Carol Gilligan
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/o674445440/gearupforsuccela

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TASKS =

1. Make a list of 100 accomplishments.   Be proud of yourself!  Tell people!

2. Each day/week make note of your accomplishments...add them to your list.

3. Find role models/mentors: Read inspirational books about other people who have had successful achievements. <I would appreciate any recommendations for our readers>

4. Hire a coach to support you in building your self esteem through your achievements.
Call me for a complimentary half-hour COACHING session today.
Voice:617-494-1422;  email: laurie@ingearcoaching.com

5. Go to my Website www.ingearcoaching.com for back issues of my newsletter - especially for this
month's series on The 8 A+Actions for Building Your Self Esteem.

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TELECLASSES:
4 one-hour private sessions - to be scheduled at your convenience - Fee: $300
 or for group teleclases: $99.

<LEARN the 8 A'S - A SYSTEM for BUILDING YOUR SELF ESTEEM>

<LEARN the 3-STEP MODEL for TAKING RESPONSIBLE RISKS in order to
        GET UNSTUCK/MAKE BREAKTHROUGHS  to CREATE the LIFE YOU WANT>

<RESOLVING CONFLICTS> Learn and practice effective skills for managing and resolving conflicts in all your relationships..at work or at home.

<ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING> Get your needs met while respecting the rights of others.

For a more detailed description of my teleclasses go to www.ingearcoaching.com

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UPCOMING LOCAL WORKSHOPS>:

BE A PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL COACH
Boston Center for Adult Education
Monday, June 12, 2000; 6:30-9:30 p.m.
also Monday, July 24, 2000; 6:30-9:30p.m.

MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR Training: Beverly Hospital
Wednesday, June 14, 2000
private workshop - <individual MBTI assessment and interpretation available>

ATTRACTING WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE
*Middlesex Community College - Wednesday, June 7th from 6:30-9:30pm

TEAM-BUILDING & NETWORKING: Games and Inititatives for Learning
ICF Conference, Balance Program, Vancouver, BC
October 27, 2000
also at RANCHO LA PUERTA SPA, Tecate, Mexico
December 16-22, 2000

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For back-issues of my weekly broadcast go to my website @ www.ingearcoaching.com

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Laurie R. Geary, M.Ed.
Professional  Certified Coach

Register for my free weekly newsletter: Gear Up for Success!
or a free teleclass on Risk-Taking or Building Self Esteem.
at my website: http://www.ingearcoaching.com

Phone: (617)494-1422
Fax: (617)494-1786
Address: 4 Canal Park, PH9, Cambridge, MA 02141
Graduate: Coach University http://www.coachu.com