Issue #774 - April, 13  2001 <<Women and Risk>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
brought to you by Laurie Riddell Geary, M.Ed., PCC.
Coaching you to get your life IN GEAR by making shifts, getting
unstuck, finding balance, accelerating your growth, and mapping
the best route to your chosen destination: a life filled with
passion and purpose.

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In this issue:
 1. Welcome!
         2. Reader Feedback
 3. More Grammar
 4. Weekly Article:  <Women and Risk>
 5. Recommended Tasks
        6. Recommended Books
        7. Upcoming  Teleclasses  and local Workshops
        8. Subscription information
 

1. WELCOME!

Welcome to <GEAR UP FOR SUCCESS!> and a warm welcome to all my
 new subscribers!  I really appreciate your forwarding my newsletter
to all your friends and colleagues. I have over 500 subscribers. Your
 recommendations help me grow and develop as a coach. Anyone
can subscribe by going to my website @ www.ingearcoaching.com.
Thank you so much for your support!
 

2. Reader Feedback:

<I was so glad to read your newsletter on grammar!  We at North Shore
 Community College are trying to do something about this problem: we
are offering a course in proper grammar in the Fall.  Please tell all your
readers. Thank you> Ellen Skryness

Note: there was an article in the New York Times over the weekend that
 addressed the problem of poor grammar use for CEO's!
 
 

3.  Some more Common Grammar Errors:

<HANGED vs HUNG: Timothy McVeigh is going to be hanged not hung.
 Pictures are HUNG...People are HANGED!>

<IRREGARDLESS is not a word!  Always use REGARDLESS>

<DISINTERESTED means impartial; do not confuse it with UNINTERESTED
which means not interested in>

<MOST: do not use when you mean ALMOST.  eg. NOT most everybody;
correct=almost everybody; NOT most of the time, correct=almost all the time>

*Source: <The Elements of Style> by Strunk and White

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4.  Weekly Article:  <<Women and Risk>>

 Is it more difficult for women to risk than it is for men? If <smart>
risk-taking promotes personal and professional growth, are women hampered
 by obstacles to their risking process?  When I give workshops on Risk-taking,
 most women say they are not risk takers...yet they would like to be.  What
inhibits women from risking?  What blocks women from risking as men do?

 <Why Women Don't Risk>

*Cultural Expectations: Most cultures expect women to be cautious with risking...
and protect/over-protect them.  Girls/women are encouraged to remain in
predictable, safe, comfort zones.  Men are the Hunters...women are the
Gatherers and Mothers/Caretakers at the hearth.

*Family Conditioning: Families often condition girls to follow the path to
dependency.  Parents can be over-protective of their daughters.

*Learned Helplessness: Research shows a critical breakdown of the will to
master difficult and risky situations in the female experience; a condition
called <learned helplessness> develops in girls over time.  Fathers were
found to "rescue" their daughters when they had difficulty in playing
games like chess, yet fathers let their sons struggle;  their expectations
were not as high for their daughters.  Women continue to let men "rescue"
them in coupled/marriage relationships and thus are deprived of experiences
 that build their risk muscle.

*Different Standards:  Standards/expectations have always been different
 for women than for men.  Women are expected to be nice and polite, to
put others first, to be the caretakers.  An assertive woman is often criticized;
an assertive man is applauded.

*Not enough Role Models: The history books have ignored many Risk-Taking
women; fairy tales depict girls/women as helpless and dependent...victims to
 be rescued by boys/men.  Fortunately these books and stories are being
rewritten to represent strong, independent women risk-takers!  As more and
more women emerge as leaders (risk takers!)  in politics, business, the arts,
academia...more role models will appear!

*The Cinderella Complex: According to Collete Dowling* women have a
psychological need to avoid independence...a wish to be saved.  Like
Cinderella, women wait for something external <their Prince> to transform
their lives.

*Violence Against Women: the world is not a safe place for women.
Statistics are horrifying: 1 in 4 women will be raped or sexually abused
in her lifetime; more will be physically abused.  It's hard to risk when you
know these hard facts.

*Genetics/Biology: Women are physically smaller and, thus, more vulnerable.
 Biologically women are nurturers and caretakers.

*Fear of Success: Studies from Matina Horner and, later, Carol Gilligan,
show that girls fear (and therefore avoid) success (and consequently avoid
 risks that will lead to success); they fear damaging or losing their relationships
 with men.
Another study found differences in how women and men view success (and failure).
 Women often viewed their successes as happening by chance or luck...something
external to them; men viewed success as something they created...internalized.
 On the other hand, women internalized failure..seeing it as something they did;
men externalized failure...seeing failure as bad luck, not something for which they
were responsible.

*The Glass Ceiling (in business..academics...politics): Women are still not
equally represented in the upper levels of business, academics, politics..and are
thus deprived of enough opportunities to risk in leadership roles.

*Practice: Boys/men get lots of practice risking by being in sports teams....
and the games boys play are more competitive and involve more risk-taking.
  However, this is changing as more and more girls/women get involved in
competitive athletic activities.
 

 Fortunately, many of these obstacles to women's risking are being reduced.
 Women are getting much more involved in athletic activities at a young age,
history books are being rewritten to be more representative of women's contributions,
fairy tales are being rewritten to illustrate more powerful, independent roles for girls,
and women are moving into leadership roles in business and politics and academics.
 However, we all (men & women) can do more to encourage women to risk to grow!

**copyright: all rights reserved: Laurie R. Geary, April, 2001

NEXT WEEK: <Motivators to Risk-Taking for Growth>
 
 

5. RECOMMENDED TASKS:

1.  Find women risk-taking role models/mentors!  Be a risk-taking role model/mentor!
Get involved in activities that will build your risk muscle! Examine your limitations to risking .....
and start reducing them.  Take a risk today!

2. Order my new workbook:
RISK TO GROW! CREATE the LIFE YOU WANT through RESPONSIBLE RISK-TAKING...
a collection of articles, top tens, models, poems & quotes, and exercises on Risk-Taking....

3. or Read one of the books on risk-taking mentioned below

4. Register for a TELECLASS: <Responsible Risk-Taking: The Path to Personal Growth>.
Learn the 3-Step Risk-Taking Process. Identify Risking Motivators & Blocks,
Resources and much more.
 Tuesday, May 15th @ 9pm EST. - also Wednesday, June 13th @ 9pm

5. Call or email me for a complimentary half-hour COACHING session to help you
 work on eliminating your blocks to risking and taking more risks for your personal or
professional growth.
 Voice:617-494-1422;  email: laurie@ingearcoaching.com

6. Go to my Website www.ingearcoaching.com for back issues of my newsletter to read
 more articles on taking risks, building self esteem, finding your passion...and much more
 

6. RECOMMENDED BOOKS:

*THE CINDERELLA COMPLEX: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence, by Colette Dowling
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/067173346/gearupforsuccela

*WOMEN & RISK, by Nicky Marone
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312071159/gearupforsuccela

*RISK-TAKING for WOMEN: Proven techniques for overcoming fear and conflict to
achieve the success you really want - in your career and personal life.
A supportive and practical guide. by Betsy Morscher & Barbara S.Jones.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0896961834/gearupforsuccela

*RISKING, by David Viscott
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671664093/gearupforsuccela

*FEEL the FEAR and DO IT ANYWAY, by Susan Jeffers,
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0449902027/gearupforsuccela

*THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE, by William Strunk and E.B. White
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/020530902x/gearupforsuccela

AND....
**Check out my new booklet on experiential activities for trainers: 75 of my favorite activities
learned from years of working as an instructor for Outward Bound Professional Development
Programs.GAMES & INITIATIVES for NETWORKING, ENERGIZING, & TEAM-BUILDING...

Both booklets now available...hard copy ($20) or pdf. file ($15)
Send check to Laurie Geary, 4 Canal Park, PH9, Cambridge, MA 02141;
email request to: laurie@ingearcoaching.com or
order at my website: www.ingearcoaching.com
 

7. UPCOMING TELECLASSES & LOCAL WORKSHOPS:

TELECLASS: RISK TO GROW! Create the Life You Want through Responsible Risk-Taking.
Learn the 3-Step Risk-Taking Process. Identify Risking Motivators & Blocks, Resources and more.
 Tuesday, May 15th @ 9pm EST. - also Wednesday, June 13th @ 9pm

RISK-TAKING: The Path to Personal Growth:
Boston Center for Adult Education
Thursday, June 7th from 6:30-9:30 pm

BE A PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL COACH
*Boston Center for Adult Education
  6:30-9:30 pm; Tuesday, June 5, 2001
 

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