Gear up for Success!
GEAR UP FOR SUCCESS! "Tips, Techniques...and Tasks" - a weekly newsletter designed to support you in getting IN GEAR to create the life you want today.
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Issue #47 - August 28, 2000 <<MAKING A DIFFERENCE BUILDS YOUR SELF ESTEEM>>
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brought to you by Laurie Riddell Geary, M.Ed., PCC. Coaching you to
get your life IN GEAR by making shifts, getting unstuck, finding balance,
accelerating your growth, and mapping the best route to your chosen destination:
a life filled with passion and purpose.
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Table of Contents:
1. Reader FEEDBACK on ASKING
2. TOPIC: <<MAKING A DIFFERENCE BUILDS YOUR SELF ESTEEM>>
a. update: The Haul of Justice.
b. Story: The Hundredth Monkey
c. Top Ten Ways to Make a Difference
3. Recommended READING & RESOURCES
4. Recommended TASKS
5. Upcoming TELEGROUP and Local WORKSHOPS
6. SUBSCRIPTION information
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Reader FEEDBACK: Last week's article on ASKING seemed to provoke
a lot of responses from many of my readers!
<Great article . I find I struggle with asking in my relationship with my husband--one of the things not on your list is, "If they really knew me (loved me/wanted to help) they would KNOW what I want." I say this to myself all the time and of course that is just my way of covering up for the other reasons you mentioned (and make it HIS fault!)> Best, Susan
<Hi Laurie, Great newsletter!
I continue to be very impressed with
your newsletters. Great subject and written in a way that is
easy to
comprehend and apply>. Pat W.
<Your advice on asking hits the target. Thanks for the reminder to Ask. Ask, Ask! Ellen S.
<The Russians certainly needed to read your article on ASKING! Pride (one of the barriers to asking that you mentioned) certainly kept them from asking for the help that could have saved all those men's lives. Truly appalling!> Lizzie B.
Note: After writing my article on Asking last week, I went out for a
sail with two friends. We had great wind for awhile, but then it
totally died. I always hate to ask for a tow from another boat....pride...fear
of inconveniencing? I realized I wasn't following my own advice...which
is ASK and then let the other take responsibility for their response.
By not asking I am depriving the other the opportunity to feel good..be
a <good Samaritan>; or I am assuming they can't say NO. Ironically
the man in our threesome was the one who asked for help...so much for stereotyping!>
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Topic: MAKING A DIFFERENCE BUILDS YOUR SELF ESTEEM
In my Self Esteem workshops I often ask people to state their life's purpose; many people write that it is <to make a difference....to leave the world a better place> Easy to say...but how often do we put this intention into action? How often do we act on our beliefs?
Feeling like you have made a difference - and will leave the world a better place - can also really build your self esteem. I know one of the reasons I became a teacher/trainer was to make a positive difference in other people's lives. Occasionally people will tell me after a workshop that I changed their life; I feel so good about that! Being a coach also gives me the opportunity to have a relationship with people over time; this gives me even more satisfaction in seeing the difference I can make in helping my clients create a better life for themselves.
There are many stories of people who have taken a stand and made a huge difference in the quality of our lives. Certain names always come to mind: Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Mother Theresa...The Chicken Soup for the Soul books tell story after story of people who took a stand for something they believed in..who had the courage to act on their values and beliefs...and show us how to live a life that leaves a positive legacy for us all.
What are you doing to make a positive difference in this world?
Can ONE person really make a difference?
I am reminded of the story about the young man standing on the
beach surrounded by starfish. He picks them up, one by one, and throws
them back into the ocean. Another man comes along and asks him why
he is doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would
die if left out in the sun. "But the beach goes on for miles and there
are millions of starfish. How can your effort make a difference?"
The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw him safely
in the waves. "It makes a difference to this one," he said.
This story has always been really meaningful to me. It has helped
me think about how ONE person CAN make a difference; s/he can change (save?!)
a person's life by taking action. There are countless stories of
people who do take actions...or take a stand...to make this world a better
place.
The Chicken Soup for the Soul* books tell story after story of
courageous people who take action to make a difference in this world.
I find it so inspiring to read about these wonderful role models; they
inspire me to have the courage to stand up for what I believe in.
Recently I read a book <THE LEGACY OF LUNA> about a remarkable young woman <Julia Butterfly Hill> who decided to save a redwood tree by living in it for two years! She just decided she had to do something about the destruction of our redwood trees. <Julia's actions have profoundly re-energized the environmental movement all over the world. Her story is a beacon for us all for what one committed soul can accomplish> Bonnie Raitt.
A few weeks ago I wrote about a young friend of mine, Ethan Hughes, <see issue # 32 HAUL OF JUSTICE> who decided to ride a bike across the country, from Seattle to Massachusetts, in order to make a positive difference by doing good deeds along the way*, and by raising money for selected organizations who are committed to making the world a better place. Ethan and his super hero friends took action around the values in which they believe. Ethan is definitely showing us how one person can make a difference! <The Superheroes will be finishing their journey on September 14th in Gloucester, Mass>. Bravo Ethan!
*SUPERHERO REPORTS FROM THE RIDE ACROSS AMERICA
Updated by Haul of Justice Headquarters
as of July 13, 2000
Seattle, WA ride starts May 20, 2000 - performed on city
streets (juggling, joke and story telling) to raise awareness of homelessness
problem (city has 2000 beds for 5000 needy people)
Summer, WA moved boulders for community garden
- helped an 88-year-old pastor plant her vegetable garden
Tenino, WA helped a family paint a fence
- slept by river/ cleaned up river bank
Astoria, WA cleaned up city bike path
- KNNP radio read bed-time stories for kids
- visited Olney Elementary School/ joined 80 kids in song and dance
Tillamook, OR planted flowers on Main St.
Eugene, OR planted 150 apple trees and 300 tomato plants for
Grass Roots Garden (for homeless people)
-painted a room and helped make repairs in the community bike
shop at Center for Appropriate
Transport
Santiam Pass, OR crossed the Cascade Range; cleared a small landslide
off the road
Prineville, OR gave hugs at pharmacy
- ceremonial burials of 13 animals (from raccoons to deer “road-kill”)
- framed a community kitchen for the Baptist Church
Cambridge, ID cleaned up City Park
Whitebird, ID planted grass for new public library
- local pastor blessed the superheroes
Salmon, ID found dead dog/ returned it to its family/ helped with
burial
Stites, ID planted roses for Baptist Church
- stocked shelves for a new “mom&pop” store
Dubois, WY - helped at Big Horn Ram Center
Muddy Gap, WY visited residents at Native American nursing home
/ sang songs
Rawlins, WY volunteered at community center with focus on non-violence
Riverside, WY helped moving furniture at Encampment Museum
Walden, CO new additions increased superhero group to 9
Kremmling, Co - visited assisted living center/ sang/told stories
Yet I don't think we have to take a stand...be a superhero... to make a difference; we can each contribute in our own small way to something we believe in..and little by little our efforts can add up to have a big effect. By doing this we can create a critical mass that can affect positive change. The story of the Hundredth Monkey tells it best:
The Hundredth Monkey by Ken Kesey (from GOLD NUGGETS*)
The Japanese monkey has been observed in the wild for a period
of over 30 years. In 1952, on the island of Koshima, scientists were
providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkeys
liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but found the dirt unpleasant.
An 18-month old female named Imo found that she could solve the problem
by washing the potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught this trick
to her mother. Her playmates also learned this new way and they taught
their mothers too.
This cultural innovation was gradually picked up by various monkeys
before the eyes of the scientists. Between 1952 and 1958, all the
young monkey learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to make them more
palatable. Only the adults that imitated their children benefited
from this social improvement. Other adults kept eating the dirty
potatoes.
The something startling tool place. In the autumn of 1958,
a certain number of Koshima monkeys were washing sweet potatoes - the exact
number is not know. Let us suppose that when the sun rose one morning
there were 99 monkeys on Koshima Island who had learned to wash their sweet
potatoes. Let's further suppose that later that morning, the hundredth
monkey learned to wash potatoes.
Then, it happened!
By the evening, almost everyone in the tribe was washing sweet
potatoes before eating them The added energy of this hundredth
monkey somehow created an ideological breakthrough!
But notice. A most surprising thing observed by these scientists
was that the habit of washing sweet potatoes then jumped over sea.
colonies of monkeys on other islands and the mainland troop of monkeys
at Takaskiyama began washing their sweet potatoes!
Thus when a certain critical number achieves an awareness, the new awareness may be communicated from mind to mind. Although the exact number may vary, the Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon means that when only a limited number of people know of a new way, it may remain the conscious property of these people But there is a point at which if only one more person tunes in to a new awareness, a field is strengthened so that this awareness is picked up by almost everyone!
So I can trust that I, too, can do my little bit for humanity and know that it will add to that certain critical number that will make a big difference. There are many ways I can act on my beliefs to leave this world a better place; it just takes awareness, purposeful action, and... sometimes... lots of courage!
What are some ways we can make a positive difference in the lives of others?
Top Ten Ways to Make a Positive Difference
*Each day/week/month/year think about ways you can make a positive difference in someone else's life.
1. Teach/Train: Teaching someone new skills or valuable information obviously can make a big difference in their life.I love to see the "aha" and the excitement that can happen when someone learns something new. Teachers deserve a lot of credit for the efforts they make to educate students; they certainly can make a positive difference each and every day!
2. Coaching: Supporting someone in their personal/professional growth...helping them move forward to create a fulfilling and meaningful life is incredibly satisfying. I know I make a positive difference when I coach my clients.
3. Being a Role Model or Mentor: Living a life of meaning and purpose...acting on values you believe in...can inspire us all to achieve our own potential....to take actions that will also positively affect others. Reading biographies/autobiographies of famous (and not so famous,,, like Julia Butterfly Hill) role models gives me incredible inspiration and motivation.
4. Write: Writing something is a marvelous way to reach out to people and make a difference. Whether it is a book, an article, a poem, a newsletter...the written word can have a profound effect. Recently I have started to write a weekly newsletter. I feel a big responsibility when I write because I know 500 people will be reading it! Therefore I want to write something that will be meaningful and give my readers information that will be useful, and perhaps profound. I really feel gratitude when people take the time to tell me how my articles have affected them.
5. Music: Composing and/or performing music certainly adds to the quality of people's lives. You don't have to be Mozart to enrich someone's life with music. I'm very proud of my son, Derek who is committed to creating music for our enjoyment (see newsletter issue #6 for a description of his musical path, or visit his website at www.derekgeary.com).
6. Act: Drama (and film) can have a huge impact on us and influence how we see the world. A good friend of mine, Sydney Hayes of Patstiche Productions*, uses drama..one act plays..to educate and inform people about issues of importance such as teenage dating abuse (The Yellow Dress), suicide, eating disorders...and more.... Loretta Laroche* from Plymouth, Mass. uses comedy to teach us how to reduce our stress....and "lighten up"....to have a happier life.
7. Art: Paintings, photos, sculptures...these objects certainly can profoundly affect us for hundreds of years; and you don't have to be a Van Gogh to leave your contribution to making the world a better place. A picture, as they say, can say a thousand words.
8. Take a Stand....for something you believe in. Whether you are like Julia in Luna, the redwood tree, and get media attention that educates people about your cause, or you join thousands in a March for Equal Rights, taking a stand can make a positive difference in the lives of others. It can raise consciousness, create positive change, and make the world a better place.
9. Do a Random Act of Kindness*: What little or big act can you do that will give someone a "lift?" put a smile on their face? contribute to the quality of their life? Do you look for ways to be kind? eg. lately I have been yielding the right of way to people on the road..letting them cut in when they want to, or stopping for jay walkers...also helping out when I see a need (like helping a woman lift her child's stroller up the subway stairs). Ethan Hughes (see above) is definitely one of my superheros for Random Acts of Kindness....!!
10. Parenting: Parents can make a big difference in the lives of others...My current parent hero is my daughter-in-law, Lisa, who has chosen to stay home, despite her advanced degree and ability to work professionally....to ensure that her children (my two granddaughters, Madison and Taylor) get the best parenting they can. There are more and more mothers who are choosing to sacrifice their professional aspirations in order to raise children who can be the best that they can be. They want to help their children achieve their potential and have fulfilling lives..and contribute to our society in positive ways. What could be more important??
*and remember the hundredth monkey phenomenon! - every little bit we do can add up to a critical mass that will impact the earth in positive ways. We can make a difference each day by being purposeful and conscious of our acts to make this world a better place. Give a donation, vote! be part of a community group, volunteer....There are numerous ways, if we look, to be effective and make a difference.
I would love to hear from you with your stories and/or suggestions on how we can make a positive difference in the lives of others..thanks
copyright 2000, all rights reserved: Laurie R. Geary, M.Ed.
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*Recommended READING and RESOURCES:
<THE LEGACY OF LUNA>by Julia Butterfly Hill.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/0-06-251658-2/gearupforsuccela
<GOLD NUGGETS...Readings for Experiential Education> by Jim Schoel
and Mike Stratton.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/0-934387-09-5/gearupforsuccela
<CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL> by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen,
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/1-55874-262-x/gearupforsuccela
<RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS> by Daphne Rose Kingma
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/0943235457/gearupforsuccela
<HOW SERIOUS IS THIS? SEEING HUMOR IN DAILY STRESS>by Loretta Laroche,
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN/0964401487/gearupforsuccela
<PASTICHE PRODUCTIONS> contact Sydney Hayes: email: etone@ourweb.net
or phone (978) 464-5770
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Recommended TASKS:
1. Register for the coaching telegroup and build your self esteem with the 8-A System
2. Read one of the great books mentioned above.
3. Go to my Website www.ingearcoaching.com for back issues of my newsletter related to building your self esteem.
4. Call me for a complimentary half-hour COACHING session to support you in learning to ask for what you want! Voice:617-494-1422; email: laurie@ingearcoaching.com
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<UPCOMING LOCAL WORKSHOPS and TELECLASSES>
:ANNOUNCING:
***A COACHING TELEGROUP - to BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM using the
8-A SYSTEM***
This fall I am offering a weekly group coaching teleclass to focus
on <Building Your Self Esteem through the Awesome 8-A System>
.Each session will focus on one of the 8 A's of Self Esteem Development*...a
unique, inspiring and practical process for positive change.
Topics to focus on:
*Developing your A+ Attributes to Attract what you want in your life.
*Becoming more Aware of your needs and wants.
*Being Accountable for your Actions
*Acknowledging and Accepting yourself and others using skills that
work.
*Becoming more Assertive: Asking for what you want; Avoiding what you
don't want;
Act now! Take Actions to Accelerate your growth...move forward faster
in your self esteem development and learn how to
Activate the 8 A's of Building Your Self Esteem.
*an e-Workbook on the 8-A System for Building Self Esteem provided.
*e-Handouts provided per session to supplement self esteem topics
*The telegroup format provides affordable coaching for the client who
chooses group coaching over individual coaching.
Telegroup limited to 8 participants.
Session Dates:
Free Introductory sessions: Thursday, Sept. 7 @ 9pm EST also Thursday,
November 2 @ 9pm EST
Take a self esteem assessment; get an overview of the 8 A's; determine
if the telegroup will support you in building your self esteem.
Phase 1: Thursdays @ 9pm EST - Sept 14 -21-27-October 4
Cost: $179
Phase 2: Thursdays @ 9pm EST - November 9-16-30-December 7
Cost: $179
Special price for both Phases: $300
please note: if these dates/times are inconvenient for you, contact Laurie to arrange a coaching telegroup for you and your colleagues/friends.
To Register: Go to www.teleclassinternational.com
For more information, contact Laurie Geary @ (617)494-1422 or email:
laurie@ingearcoaching.com
or see her website @www.ingearcoaching.com
Local WORKSHOPS:
BE A PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL COACH
*Boston Center for Adult Education
Monday, September 18 - also, Monday, November 13, 2000 - 6:30-9:30
p.m.
also, Thursday, January 18, 2001
and
*Middlesex Community College
Saturday, September 23rd from 9-4 pm
and
*North Shore Community College
Wednesday, September 27th from 9-3 pm
TEAM-BUILDING:
*Thompson Island Outward Bound Education Center
August 2...September 6th and 16th
and
*The Warren Conference Center...Northeastern University
August 30 & 31st.
RISK-TAKING: THE PATH to PERSONAL GROWTH
*North Shore Community College
Wednesday, October 4th from 9-3 pm
also
*BCAE - Monday, October 16 from 6:30-9:30 pm.
and Thursday, January 25, 2001.
BUILDING YOUR SELF ESTEEM with the 8 A+ SYSTEM
North Shore Community College
Wednesday, October 11th from 9-3 pm
ATTRACTING WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE
*Middlesex Community College - Saturday, October 14th from 9 to 4 pm
TEAM-BUILDING:
*Thompson Island Outward Bound Education Center
September 6th and 16th
and
*The Warren Conference Center of Northeastern University
August 30 & 31st.
Games and Initiatives for Learning
*ICF Conference, Balance Program, Vancouver, BC
October 27, 2000
* RANCHO LA PUERTA SPA, Tecate, Mexico
December 16-22, 2000
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